Being “Probed on Twitter” has caused me to become more aware of the insurmountable number of people who still carry around “pain” from their past – at times a pain they are not even aware of they are carrying. A pain that will distort every area of their lives, especially the very essence of who God is.
The pain that is most devastating is pain that comes from those who parented us or who had authority over us. (Realizing of course there are no perfect parents – they did the best they could with what they had. Those of us that are parents now can vouch for that!) Whether good or bad, our view of “God as a Father” will be filtered through our experiences from our earthly father’s house.
Hopefully your father’s house left you with a good experience!
As for me in my early years, my father left when I was two. He left me with a lot of questions unanswered and a heart full of pain; maybe not intentionally but perhaps out of a response to his own pain. As a little girl, all I knew is my daddy was just not there.
From that age onward I filtered life through that pain…
I don’t matter
Who cares
I don’t belong
Who can I trust?
It just plain HURTS!
Abandonment – whether it be through divorce, death, war or just not there to begin with; a child is not able to reason and only knows…. “My daddy is not here”. “Where is my daddy?”
Perhaps your father was in the home but was passive. You know, the kind where you run to them saying “daddy, daddy…” and before you finish your sentence their response is “go ask your mother”!
Or possibly your father’s house was verbally, physically or sexually abusive; leaving you with scars that can last a lifetime.
Pain no matter what form it comes in, if left uncomforted – distorts the truth of who God is.
If ignored, stuffed, or denied, pain does not mind staying with you for as long as you allow it. Pain’s mission is to distort the truth of every area of your life… especially of who God is.
Forty two years later…I finally am open to realize…in order for pain to be comforted, it must be embraced. I made the choice to unload my pain – well, most of it that is… as it seems to come off in layers!
Here is a story about my father… a story of truth that is no longer distorted… “My Father’s Voice!”
What about your childhood? Do you have a story of truth?
Email us… we would love to hear about it!
Freedom… that is what we at “Freedom Quest International” are all about!
Please take a moment and forward this post to your favorite social media friends!
Because of the incest that I grew up with from my dad, I thought that God didn’t love me either. I thought that I had no value. Then after I got into 12-Step programs, I started talking to God. I started trusting God and then a friend was murdered the day after Christmas. This friend was part of my journey back to God. When she was murdered I felt like God that slapped me down when I had just gotten up finally. I was angry at God for about a year. I decided that He was okay with my anger. I got over it and started talking to God again. Today I have a great relationship with God.
Patricia,
Thank you for your transparency and brutal honesty. I just went to your blog and really enjoyed your reading… the poem was awesome and oh the story of your son’s wedding on mothers day…. how special. You are a creative writer and express yourself well. I love to see/read how your healing has unfolded.
Thanks for stopping by and connecting! Blessings from our family to yours!
I am still working thru it all. I had a good father who worked hard, raising me and my nine siblings, and died while still married to our mother. I haven’t taken the time to think about how any of that affects my relationship with God. But I’m pretty new at all of this…My dad was a pretty passive kinda person, although he was definitely the boss at home. My mother “served” him and taught us kids that withouot a doubt, he was the head of the house. I can say, that my motehr had a greater influence on me than my dad, in that, I am so like her, both in my appearance and in my actions.
Brenda,
Thanks for sharing your heart so openly. I am sure you will find the CD’s very helpful on these very subjects you are talking about… as I said before… God does not open up a heart without following up with healing. He is faithful.
So glad we are neighbors!